Brewtastrophe Case #001: MikeD's Stuck Stopper

I decided to upgrade from the plastic bucket (ale pail) to the glass carboy. One week after National Home Brew Day (May 7, 2005) I was ready to rack my Positively Porter from the primary to the secondary. When I inserted the stopper it was still wet from sanitizing. The stopper was slipping up the neck, so I pushed it in further to the point where it was about to fall into the black abyss. I let the beer sit for three weeks until it was time for bottling. With some helpful ideas from my fellow Hop Jockeys I got a 1/8” toggle bolt to pull out the stopper. As a handle I used a bottle opener shaped like a snowboard, which has a hole in the tail that fit the bolt. I pulled pretty hard on the bolt until the toggle broke and fell in. Now I was stuck on how to get the stopper out. Four months went by before I got around to bottling again. This time I used two snowboard bottle openers as a handle. This method increased my grip, but ultimately backfired. The two snowboards had the effect of using fingernail clippers on the bolt, which broke and fell into the carboy. I gave up on the toggle bolt and began cutting the stopper into small pieces. This would have worked, except the stopper fell into carboy while I was cutting it. The good news is that the Positively Porter tastes pretty darn good despite the overdue bottling date. The bad news is that the stopper is still stuck inside my carboy. Should I use it as a change jar, or build a schooner inside it? Are my brewing days over? Not until this Hop Jockey kicks the ale pail. If anybody figures out how to solve this jam I will offer them a bottle of Positively Porter as a prize.

Peace,
Mike D.

Case #001 continued…two weeks later.

I am happy to announce that I have purged the stubborn stopper from the carboy! I used a knife to finish cutting out the piece. Then I used my handy dandy toggle bolt stopper puller outer to yank that son of a bitch out of the hole. I guess the lesson I have learned from this ordeal is that a little persistence and ingenuity can lead to triumph. Just like those monkeys that use rocks to break open the nuts. Now I can relax with a homebrew and plan my next batch of beer.

Cheers,
Mike D.